Collaborative Divorce Parenting Plans in Virginia: Questions to Prepare
Updated: Oct 10
Parents considering collaborative divorce often need more than a general list of benefits. They need a workable proposal for their children's daily lives. This guide focuses on preparing parenting-plan questions for Virginia families; our companion guide explains the broader collaborative process and its limits.
Begin with your child's actual routine
Write down school hours, transportation, activities, medical needs, and each parent's work schedule. Include holidays, summer breaks, and any military deployment concerns. Identify arrangements that have worked and practical problems that need a solution. A proposal grounded in the child's routine is more useful than a demand for a label such as full custody.
Separate decisions from the parenting calendar
Discuss who will make education and health decisions, how parents will exchange information, and how disagreements will be addressed. Separately consider where the child stays, exchanges, travel, and communication between visits. Ask counsel how the proposed terms fit the legal custody and visitation arrangements available in your case.
Use Virginia's best-interest factors
Virginia Code § 20-124.3 directs courts to consider factors such as the child's needs, the parent-child relationships, parenting roles, cooperation, and relevant safety concerns. An agreement should address the child's circumstances rather than assume that one parent's preference controls. Tell counsel about abuse or coercion before entering joint negotiations.
Child support remains subject to law
Virginia's child-support guidelines carry a rebuttable presumption under Code § 20-108.2. A departure requires the appropriate findings; parents should not assume that a private negotiation removes those requirements. Bring income information, health-insurance costs, and work-related child-care expenses so counsel can evaluate support alongside the parenting proposal.
Prepare for disagreement and change
Ask how the agreement will handle missed exchanges, relocation proposals, school changes, and future disputes. Avoid vague terms that leave essential details unresolved. Discuss what must be submitted to the court and how an agreement differs from an enforceable court order.
Questions for your consultation
Bring existing orders, a proposed calendar, and a concise list of disputed issues. Ask whether collaborative representation is offered, whether it is appropriate, and what alternatives are available. Discuss professional fees and the consequences of ending the formal collaborative process. A consultation should help you assess options without promising agreement or a particular result.
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