Remarried and Still Paying Alimony? Here's How to Stop Spousal Support Payments Legally in Virginia

If you're still writing monthly alimony checks to an ex-spouse who has remarried, you might be paying more than legally required. Under Virginia law, spousal support automatically terminates when the recipient spouse remarries: but many people continue making payments simply because they don't know their rights or the proper procedures to follow.

Understanding Virginia's spousal support termination laws can save you thousands of dollars and provide the legal clarity you need to move forward confidently. Let's explore exactly how Virginia's remarriage laws work and what steps you need to take to legally stop your spousal support obligations.

Virginia's Automatic Termination Rule

Virginia Code Sections 20-109(D) and 20-110 establish a clear principle: spousal support automatically ends when the receiving spouse remarries, unless your divorce decree or separation agreement specifically states otherwise. This termination happens by operation of law: meaning you don't need court approval or a judge's permission to stop making payments.

The termination takes effect immediately on the date of your ex-spouse's official remarriage ceremony. However, this automatic rule only applies to periodic monthly or weekly spousal support payments. If your divorce order required a one-time lump sum payment, your ex-spouse's remarriage does not eliminate that obligation.

Your Ex-Spouse's Legal Duty to Notify You

Virginia law places an affirmative duty on your ex-spouse to notify you in writing of their remarriage. They must send this notification to your last known address within a reasonable time after the marriage occurs. This isn't just a courtesy: it's a legal requirement with significant consequences if ignored.

When your ex-spouse fails to provide proper notification and you continue making payments after their remarriage date, you're entitled to full restitution. This means you can recover every dollar of support paid after the remarriage, plus interest calculated from the remarriage date, along with reasonable attorney's fees and court costs incurred in pursuing the restitution.

Steps to Legally Stop Your Payments

Once you discover your ex-spouse has remarried, you can immediately cease making spousal support payments. However, taking the right procedural steps protects you from potential legal complications down the road.

Document the Remarriage Obtain solid proof of the remarriage through public records, marriage certificates, social media evidence, or witness statements. County clerk offices maintain marriage records that provide official documentation of the ceremony date and parties involved.

Provide Written Notice Send your ex-spouse written notice that you're ceasing payments due to their remarriage. Include the specific remarriage date and reference the applicable Virginia Code sections. Keep copies of this correspondence and use certified mail to create a paper trail.

Calculate Overpayments If you continued making payments after the remarriage date, calculate the total amount overpaid. This becomes the basis for your restitution claim if your ex-spouse failed to notify you promptly.

File for Restitution When Appropriate If significant overpayments occurred due to lack of notification, consider consulting with a family law attorney about filing a motion for restitution. Virginia courts take the notification requirement seriously and typically award full restitution plus interest and fees.

Cohabitation as Alternative Grounds for Termination

Virginia recognizes that some relationships function as marriages without the formal ceremony. If your ex-spouse has been living with a romantic partner in a relationship analogous to marriage for one year or more, you can petition the court to terminate spousal support based on "de facto remarriage."

Unlike actual remarriage, proving cohabitation requires court action. You must file a formal petition and demonstrate by clear and convincing evidence that the cohabitation relationship exists. The court examines factors like shared living arrangements, financial interdependence, public representation as a couple, and the duration and stability of the relationship.

If the court finds de facto remarriage exists, spousal support typically terminates unless your ex-spouse can prove by a preponderance of evidence that termination would be "unconscionable." The termination date becomes the date you filed your petition, not when the cohabitation began.

What Happens If You Remarry?

Your own remarriage generally does not terminate your obligation to pay spousal support to your ex-spouse. Virginia law focuses on changes in the recipient's circumstances, not the payor's marital status. Your ex-spouse's financial needs haven't changed simply because you've found new love.

However, your remarriage might create grounds for modifying the support amount. If your new marital obligations create genuine financial hardship or significantly change your available income, you can petition the court for a modification. Success depends on demonstrating how your changed circumstances make the current support obligation unreasonable or difficult to maintain.

Important Exceptions You Need to Know

The automatic termination rule isn't absolute. Your divorce decree or separation agreement can override Virginia's default law if you and your ex-spouse specifically agreed that support would continue after remarriage. Courts enforce these agreements even when they contradict the general statutory rule.

Review your divorce documents carefully for language like "support shall continue regardless of remarriage" or "termination provisions of Virginia Code Section 20-109 do not apply." Such clauses are binding and enforceable in Virginia courts.

Additionally, some agreements include "survivorship" provisions where spousal support converts to a debt against the payor's estate if they die before support would naturally terminate. These provisions remain enforceable even after remarriage unless the agreement states otherwise.

Protecting Yourself During the Process

Taking proactive steps protects your interests and ensures you handle the termination process correctly. Keep detailed records of all payments made, dates, and communication with your ex-spouse. If you suspect your ex-spouse has remarried but haven't received notification, don't wait indefinitely to investigate.

Consider consulting with a family law attorney before stopping payments if your situation involves complex factors like business ownership, significant assets, or unclear remarriage circumstances. Professional guidance helps avoid potential contempt of court charges if you misunderstand your obligations.

Moving Forward After Termination

Once spousal support legally terminates, you're free from future payment obligations. However, any unpaid support that accumulated before the remarriage remains collectible as a judgment debt. Your ex-spouse cannot pursue you for future support, but they can still collect past-due amounts through wage garnishment, asset seizure, or other collection methods.

If you've been overpaying due to lack of notification, pursue restitution promptly. Virginia courts are generally sympathetic to payors who continued making payments in good faith after remarriage, especially when the recipient spouse failed to provide required notification.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Don't assume your ex-spouse will voluntarily notify you of remarriage. Many recipients prefer to continue receiving support and hope you won't discover their changed circumstances. Stay reasonably informed about your ex-spouse's life situation without crossing into harassment or stalking behavior.

Avoid stopping payments based on rumors or unconfirmed information. Ensure you have solid evidence of remarriage before ceasing support. Stopping payments based on incorrect assumptions can result in contempt of court charges and additional financial penalties.

Don't ignore modification opportunities if your own circumstances change significantly. While your remarriage doesn't automatically terminate support obligations, substantial changes in income, health, or financial responsibilities might justify a modification request.

Virginia's spousal support laws provide clear protection for payors when recipients remarry, but you must understand and follow proper procedures to benefit from these protections. Whether dealing with automatic termination upon remarriage, pursuing restitution for overpayments, or exploring cohabitation-based termination, taking informed action protects your financial interests and ensures compliance with Virginia law.

If you're facing complex spousal support issues or need assistance navigating Virginia's family law requirements, professional legal guidance can provide the clarity and protection you need to resolve your situation effectively.