Looking for a Custody Lawyer in Virginia Beach? Here Are 10 Things You Should Know First
- brookthibault
- 5 days ago
- 5 min read
Let's be real, if you're searching for a custody lawyer in Virginia Beach, you're probably going through one of the most stressful times of your life. Your kids mean everything to you, and the thought of someone else deciding your future with them? It's overwhelming.
But here's the good news: knowledge is power. The more you understand about how custody cases work in Virginia Beach and the Hampton Roads area, the better prepared you'll be to protect your relationship with your children.
Before you pick up the phone and call the first attorney you find on Google, let's walk through ten crucial things you absolutely need to know. Trust us, this information could make all the difference in your case.
1. Virginia Courts Use the "Best Interests of the Child" Standard
This is the foundation of every single custody decision in Virginia. Under Virginia Code § 20-124.3, judges don't base their rulings on what's fair to mom or dad. They focus entirely on what's best for your child.
What does that mean for you? It means your case needs to clearly demonstrate how your involvement serves your child's wellbeing, not just why you deserve more time. Understanding this shift in perspective early on can help you approach your case with the right mindset.
2. Courts Consider a Whole List of Specific Factors
When determining what's in your child's best interest, Virginia Beach courts don't just wing it. They evaluate a detailed set of factors, including:
The age and physical/mental condition of your child
The age and physical/mental condition of each parent
Your child's relationship with siblings and extended family members
Each parent's willingness to support the other's relationship with the child
Any history of family abuse or domestic violence
The role each parent has played in caregiving up to this point
Each parent's ability to cooperate and make joint decisions
Want to dive deeper into what judges look for? Check out our guide on factors courts consider for custody decisions.

3. Your Child's Preferences Matter, But They're Not the Final Word
Here's a common misconception: many parents think that once their child hits a certain age, the kid gets to choose where they live. That's not exactly how it works in Virginia.
Yes, courts may consider your child's wishes based on their age, maturity, and understanding of the situation. However, the judge makes the final call. A 14-year-old's preference carries more weight than a 7-year-old's, but neither child gets to be the decision-maker.
The takeaway? Don't put your child in the middle by asking them to "choose" a parent. Focus instead on building a strong, loving relationship that speaks for itself.
4. There Are Different Types of Custody Arrangements
Custody isn't one-size-fits-all. Virginia Beach courts can order various arrangements depending on your family's unique circumstances:
Sole legal custody: One parent makes all major decisions about education, healthcare, and religion
Joint legal custody: Both parents share decision-making authority equally
Sole physical custody: The child primarily lives with one parent
Joint physical custody: The child splits time living with both parents
Visitation rights: The non-custodial parent receives scheduled time with the child
Understanding the different types of custody helps you have realistic expectations about potential outcomes: and helps your attorney advocate for the arrangement that works best for your family.
5. Mediation Is Strongly Encouraged (And Often Required)
Before your case ever sees a courtroom, there's a good chance you'll be encouraged: or even required: to try mediation first. Virginia Beach courts favor this approach because it:
Reduces legal costs for both parties
Speeds up the resolution process
Creates less adversarial co-parenting relationships
Gives parents more control over the outcome
Keeps private family matters out of public court records
Mediation isn't about "giving in" to the other parent. It's about finding common ground when possible. A skilled custody attorney can prepare you for mediation and help you understand which issues are worth negotiating and which ones require a firmer stance.

6. An Attorney Who Knows Virginia Law Is Non-Negotiable
Custody laws vary significantly from state to state. What works in California or New York might be completely irrelevant here in Virginia. That's why hiring an attorney who deeply understands Virginia's specific custody statutes, case law, and procedural requirements isn't just helpful: it's essential.
An experienced Virginia custody lawyer can:
Explain how local laws apply to your specific situation
Help you avoid common mistakes that could hurt your case
Prepare documentation that meets Virginia court standards
Anticipate legal arguments from the other side
Don't gamble on your parental rights by hiring someone who's learning Virginia law as they go.
7. Local Court Knowledge Gives You a Strategic Edge
Here's something many people overlook: it's not just about knowing Virginia law: it's about knowing Virginia Beach courts specifically.
Every courthouse has its own culture. Judges have their own preferences and tendencies. Court clerks have their own procedures. An attorney who regularly practices in Virginia Beach and Hampton Roads understands these nuances in ways that out-of-town lawyers simply can't.
At Coastal Virginia Law, we're not just familiar with local courts: we're part of this community. We know the judges, we know the procedures, and we know how to navigate the system efficiently on your behalf.

8. Custody Orders Aren't Always Permanent
Life changes. Jobs relocate. Children's needs evolve. What worked when your child was five might not work when they're twelve.
The good news? If circumstances significantly change, you may be able to modify your existing custody arrangement. Virginia courts understand that families aren't static, and they allow for modifications when there's a legitimate reason.
Common grounds for modification include:
A parent's relocation
Changes in a child's educational or medical needs
Significant changes in a parent's work schedule
Safety concerns that have developed since the original order
A child reaching an age where their needs or preferences have changed
An experienced attorney can help you determine whether your situation qualifies for modification and guide you through the process.
9. Objective Legal Advice Keeps Emotions in Check
Let's be honest: custody disputes are emotionally charged. It's hard to think clearly when you're worried about losing time with your kids or dealing with a difficult co-parent.
That's exactly why you need an attorney who can provide objective guidance. A good custody lawyer doesn't just tell you what you want to hear. They help you:
Separate emotions from legal strategy
Focus on what's actually achievable in court
Make decisions based on your children's best interests
Avoid actions that could backfire in your case
Think of your attorney as your level-headed partner in this process: someone who sees the big picture when you're too close to it.
10. Choose an Attorney Who Will Actually Fight for Your Parental Rights
Not all lawyers are created equal. Some attorneys treat custody cases like paperwork to shuffle through. Others genuinely care about protecting your role in your child's life.
When you're interviewing potential lawyers, look for someone who:
Listens to your concerns and goals
Explains the legal process in plain English
Has a track record of handling custody cases in Virginia Beach
Values the attorney-client relationship
Is willing to advocate aggressively when necessary: and negotiate wisely when appropriate
Your parental rights are too important to trust to someone who's just going through the motions.
Why Coastal Virginia Law?
At Coastal Virginia Law, we understand that your children are your world. We've helped countless Virginia Beach and Hampton Roads families navigate custody disputes with compassion, expertise, and a deep commitment to protecting parental rights.
We're not a big-city firm that treats you like a case number. We're your neighbors. We know these courts, we know Virginia law inside and out, and we genuinely care about the outcome of your case.
If you're facing a custody matter: whether it's an initial determination, a modification, or a visitation rights issue: we're here to help you understand your options and fight for your family.
Ready to take the next step? Reach out to Coastal Virginia Law today. Let's talk about your situation and build a strategy that protects what matters most: your relationship with your children.


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