Looking For a Custody Lawyer in Virginia Beach? Here Are 10 Things You Should Know First
- brookthibault
- Jan 28
- 5 min read
Let's be real: searching for a custody lawyer isn't exactly how anyone imagines spending their time. But here you are, and that's okay. Whether you're going through a separation, navigating a difficult co-parenting situation, or trying to modify an existing custody arrangement, knowledge is your greatest asset right now.
At Coastal Virginia Law, we've helped countless families throughout Virginia Beach and the Hampton Roads area work through custody and visitation matters. And one thing we've learned? The more you understand going in, the better prepared you'll be to advocate for yourself and your children.
So before you pick up the phone or send that first email to a law firm, here are 10 things you absolutely need to know.
1. Virginia Courts Always Put the Child's Best Interests First
This is the foundation of every custody decision in Virginia. It's not about which parent "wins" or who made mistakes in the marriage. The court's primary focus is determining what arrangement will best serve your child's physical, emotional, and developmental needs.
Understanding this principle can actually be empowering. It means the process isn't about tearing the other parent down: it's about demonstrating how you can positively contribute to your child's wellbeing.

2. Multiple Factors Influence Custody Decisions
When a judge evaluates a custody case, they don't just look at one thing. Virginia law requires courts to consider a range of factors, including:
The age and physical/mental condition of the child
Each parent's physical and mental health
The existing relationship between each parent and the child
Each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent
The child's needs, including connections with siblings and extended family
Each parent's role in the child's upbringing so far
Any history of family abuse or substance abuse
The child's own preference (if they're mature enough to express one)
This comprehensive approach means you'll want to think carefully about how you can demonstrate your positive involvement and commitment to your child's life.
3. Local Knowledge Makes a Real Difference
Here's something many people don't realize: Virginia Beach has its own local court procedures and practices that can significantly impact how your case unfolds. An attorney who regularly appears in Virginia Beach courts will understand these nuances: the preferences of local judges, the timing of hearings, and how to navigate the system efficiently.
This is one of the reasons families throughout Hampton Roads trust Coastal Virginia Law for their custody matters. We're not learning the ropes on your case: we already know them inside and out.
4. You Don't Have to Go to Court to Resolve Everything
Many people assume custody battles always end up in front of a judge. That's actually not the case. Mediation and negotiation can often help parents reach agreements without the stress, expense, and emotional toll of a courtroom fight.
A skilled custody attorney will explore all your options and help you determine the best path forward. Sometimes that means aggressive courtroom advocacy. Other times, it means sitting down with the other party and finding common ground.
The goal is always the same: achieving the best possible outcome for you and your children.

5. A Guardian ad Litem May Be Appointed
In some custody cases: particularly those involving concerns about a child's safety or allegations of abuse: the court may appoint a Guardian ad Litem (GAL). This is a licensed attorney whose job is to represent your child's best interests independently.
The GAL will typically:
Interview both parents and the children
Visit each parent's home
Speak with teachers, doctors, and other professionals involved in the child's life
Review relevant records
Make recommendations to the court
If a GAL is appointed in your case, it's important to cooperate fully and present yourself authentically. Your attorney can help you prepare for this process.
6. Documentation Can Make or Break Your Case
When it comes to custody disputes, memories fade and "he said, she said" arguments don't carry much weight. What does matter? Documentation.
Keep records of:
Communication with your co-parent (texts, emails, etc.)
Your involvement in your child's daily life and activities
Any concerning incidents or behaviors
Medical appointments, school events, and extracurriculars you've attended
Your attorney can guide you on what to document and how to organize it effectively. For more guidance, check out our post on mastering the art of documenting your case for court.
7. Custody Arrangements Aren't Necessarily Permanent
Life changes. Jobs relocate. Kids grow up. What worked when your child was three might not work when they're thirteen.
Virginia law allows for custody modifications when there's been a material change in circumstances. If your current arrangement is no longer serving your child's best interests, you may be able to petition the court for a modification.
Understanding this can take some pressure off. You're not locked into one arrangement forever: but you do need to follow the proper legal process to make changes. Learn more about modifying child custody agreements.

8. Emotions Are Normal: But Strategy Matters More
Let's acknowledge the elephant in the room: custody disputes are emotionally charged. You're dealing with fear, anger, grief, and uncertainty all at once. Those feelings are completely valid.
But here's the thing: emotional reactions don't win custody cases. Strategic thinking does.
This is where having an experienced attorney becomes invaluable. While you're understandably wrapped up in the emotional side of things, your lawyer can provide objective guidance, help you stay focused on what matters, and ensure you're making decisions that serve your long-term interests.
9. Understanding Custody Types Helps You Know What to Ask For
Virginia recognizes different types of custody arrangements:
Legal custody refers to the right to make major decisions about your child's life (education, healthcare, religious upbringing)
Physical custody refers to where the child actually lives
Joint custody means both parents share responsibilities
Sole custody means one parent has primary authority
Many arrangements combine elements: for example, joint legal custody with primary physical custody to one parent. Understanding these distinctions helps you have more informed conversations with your attorney about what you're hoping to achieve.
For a deeper dive, read our guide on navigating child custody types.
10. The Right Attorney Makes All the Difference
Not all lawyers are created equal: especially when it comes to something as personal and high-stakes as custody. You want someone who:
Has extensive experience with Virginia family law
Knows the local Virginia Beach courts
Communicates clearly and keeps you informed
Listens to your concerns and goals
Fights hard when necessary but also knows when to negotiate
At Coastal Virginia Law, we check all those boxes. We've built our reputation on providing personalized, compassionate legal representation to families throughout Virginia Beach and Hampton Roads. We understand what's at stake, and we're here to guide you through every step of the process.

Ready to Take the Next Step?
Finding the right custody lawyer doesn't have to be overwhelming. Now that you know what to look for: and what to expect: you're already in a stronger position than you were ten minutes ago.
If you're ready to discuss your situation with a team that genuinely cares about your family's future, we'd love to hear from you. Visit Coastal Virginia Law to learn more about how we can help, or reach out to schedule a consultation.
You've got this. And we've got your back.


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