Can Your Ex Still Get Alimony After Cheating? The Truth About Adultery and Spousal Support in Virginia Beach

Going through a divorce is emotionally challenging enough without wondering whether your cheating spouse can still walk away with monthly alimony payments. If you're facing this situation in Virginia Beach, you're dealing with one of the most consequential questions in Virginia family law: and the answer might surprise you.

The short answer? Generally no, but there are important exceptions. Virginia takes a firm stance against rewarding adultery, but the law isn't quite as black and white as you might expect. Understanding these nuances can significantly impact your financial future and help you navigate your divorce more effectively.

Virginia's Tough Stance on Adultery and Alimony

Virginia Code Section 20-107.1 makes it crystal clear: if a spouse seeking support committed adultery, the court is generally barred from awarding any form of spousal support. This isn't just a factor the judge considers: it's typically a complete disqualifier.

This rule reflects Virginia's traditional approach to marriage and divorce. Unlike many states that have moved toward "no-fault" divorce systems where marital misconduct doesn't affect financial outcomes, Virginia still considers adultery a serious breach of the marriage contract that should have real consequences.

What This Means in Practice

When you file for divorce and can prove your spouse committed adultery, you're essentially building a strong defense against any alimony claims they might make. This can save you thousands: potentially tens of thousands: of dollars over time, depending on your income levels and the length of your marriage.

However, proving adultery isn't always straightforward, and Virginia courts require a high standard of evidence before they'll make this determination.

The "Manifest Injustice" Exception: When Cheaters Still Get Paid

Despite Virginia's general prohibition on alimony for adulterous spouses, there's a significant exception that can turn the tables. Courts can still award spousal support if denying it would constitute a "manifest injustice" based on clear and convincing evidence.

When Courts Might Make an Exception

Virginia judges have discretion to award alimony to an unfaithful spouse in situations where denying support would be grossly unfair. Here are the most common scenarios:

Mutual Misconduct (Recrimination): If both spouses committed adultery, the court may decide that neither party has clean hands, effectively canceling out the adultery as a disqualifying factor.

Condonation: If the innocent spouse knew about the affair and continued the relationship: essentially forgiving or accepting the behavior: the court might not penalize the unfaithful spouse.

Extreme Financial Disparities: When one spouse has significantly greater earning capacity or assets, and denying support would leave the other spouse destitute, judges sometimes invoke the manifest injustice exception.

Other Serious Marital Misconduct: If the innocent spouse engaged in other forms of serious misconduct (such as domestic violence, financial abuse, or abandonment), this might offset the impact of adultery.

The High Bar for Manifest Injustice

It's important to understand that courts don't invoke this exception lightly. The standard is "clear and convincing evidence": a much higher bar than the typical "preponderance of evidence" standard used in most civil cases. This means the unfaithful spouse must present compelling evidence that denying support would be fundamentally unfair.

Proving Adultery: More Complex Than You Think

Simply knowing your spouse cheated isn't enough to disqualify them from alimony. Virginia law requires "clear and convincing" evidence along with corroboration: meaning you need evidence beyond just your own testimony.

What Counts as Evidence

Digital Evidence: Text messages, emails, social media posts, dating app profiles, and phone records can provide strong evidence of an affair.

Financial Records: Unusual expenses like hotel bills, restaurant charges, gifts, or travel expenses can support adultery claims.

Witness Testimony: Friends, family members, private investigators, or others who observed the affair can provide crucial corroboration.

Circumstantial Evidence: While direct evidence (like photographs) is powerful, Virginia courts also accept circumstantial evidence. Repeated overnight absences, changed behavior patterns, and opportunity combined with inclination can build a strong case.

The Challenge of Timing

Virginia law requires that adultery occur before the final separation. If your spouse began a relationship after you separated but before the divorce was final, this typically won't disqualify them from alimony: though it might affect other aspects of your case.

Other Factors That Can Disqualify Spousal Support

Adultery isn't the only behavior that can eliminate alimony claims in Virginia. Understanding these other disqualifying factors can help you build a stronger case.

Cohabitation: The Ongoing Threat

Even if your ex-spouse receives alimony initially, cohabitation with a romantic partner in a relationship that resembles marriage can terminate those payments. Virginia courts look at factors like:

• Sharing living expenses and household duties

• Presenting themselves as a couple publicly

• Joint financial arrangements or shared property

• The duration and stability of the relationship

Remarriage: Automatic Termination

Remarriage automatically ends alimony payments in Virginia. This is one of the clearest rules in spousal support law: once your ex remarries, your obligation ends immediately.

Criminal Conviction for Adultery

While rarely prosecuted, adultery remains a Class 4 misdemeanor in Virginia. If your spouse was actually convicted of adultery (which is extremely uncommon), this would provide unassailable evidence for disqualifying them from support.

Strategic Considerations for Your Case

Understanding how adultery affects alimony can help you make better strategic decisions throughout your divorce process.

Documentation Matters

Start documenting suspicious behavior early and thoroughly. The more evidence you can gather, the stronger your position will be. However, be careful about how you obtain evidence: illegal surveillance or hacking into accounts can backfire in court.

Consider Settlement Negotiations

Sometimes, the threat of an adultery claim can be more powerful in settlement negotiations than actually proving it in court. Your spouse's attorney will likely advise them to avoid the risk and expense of a contested adultery claim.

Weigh Costs vs. Benefits

Proving adultery can be expensive, especially if you need to hire a private investigator or conduct extensive discovery. Make sure the potential savings in avoided alimony payments justify the upfront costs.

Common Misconceptions About Adultery and Alimony

Misconception: "Any cheating automatically eliminates alimony." Reality: You must prove the adultery legally, which requires specific types of evidence and can be challenged in court.

Misconception: "Emotional affairs count as adultery." Reality: Virginia law requires sexual intercourse for adultery. Emotional relationships, while hurtful, typically don't meet the legal definition.

Misconception: "If they cheat after separation, it still counts." Reality: Adultery must occur before the final separation to affect alimony eligibility.

Misconception: "Adultery affects child custody and support." Reality: Virginia courts typically don't consider adultery when making decisions about children unless it directly impacts parenting ability.

When You Need Professional Help

While understanding these principles helps you navigate your situation, adultery-based alimony defenses involve complex legal and evidentiary issues. Consider consulting with an experienced Virginia divorce attorney when:

• You suspect adultery but aren't sure how to prove it legally

• Your spouse is claiming manifest injustice exceptions

• Significant financial stakes are involved

• You're facing contested divorce proceedings

The attorneys at Coastal Virginia Law can help you understand how these rules apply to your specific situation and develop a strategy that protects your financial interests.

Taking Control of Your Financial Future

Discovering your spouse's infidelity is devastating, but Virginia law provides meaningful protection against having to financially support an unfaithful ex-spouse. By understanding how adultery affects alimony, gathering proper evidence, and working with experienced legal counsel, you can advocate effectively for your financial future.

Remember, every case is unique, and Virginia's adultery laws contain nuances that can significantly impact your outcomes. Don't leave such important financial decisions to chance: get the professional guidance you need to navigate this challenging time and emerge with your financial security intact.

Whether you're just beginning to suspect infidelity or you're ready to file for divorce, understanding your rights under Virginia law empowers you to make informed decisions about one of the most important financial aspects of your divorce. Take action early, document thoroughly, and don't hesitate to seek professional help when the stakes are high.